Choosing People Who Choose You

 

One of the most freeing lessons I’ve learned is this: life changes when you stop chasing people and start cherishing the ones who already celebrate you.

For a long time, I thought I had to “earn” someone’s approval. Whether in friendships, communities, or even professional spaces, I found myself pouring energy into proving that I was worthy of being valued. The problem is that when you constantly fight for someone’s attention, you begin to forget your own worth. You are already valuable enough. You do not have to chase love or prove that you are worthy of it. Healthy love and healthy friendship are mutual. The right people will be just as interested in you as you are in them.

Healthy relationships do not thrive on one-sided effort. They are built on mutual investment. When someone values you, your friendship, your partnership, your artistry, you feel it. You do not have to guess. You do not have to shrink or twist yourself into someone else’s mold. They meet you where you are, and together you both give, encourage, and grow.

Protecting your energy does not mean closing your heart or giving less of yourself. It means being intentional. It means choosing wisely where you pour your love so that you can give it to those who truly value it. It means making space for joy, support, and laughter instead of confusion, disappointment, or fear.

The most beautiful part is that when you start surrounding yourself with people who genuinely value you, your confidence shifts. You stand a little taller. You create more freely. You trust yourself again because you are no longer stuck proving your worth to people who never saw it in the first place.

So here is my encouragement. If you already have people who show up for you, cherish them. Notice the ones who celebrate your wins, even the small ones, and the ones who speak truth with kindness. Those are the people to hold close.

And if you feel like you do not have that kind of circle yet, do not lose hope. Community can be built. Sometimes it means reconnecting with friends or family you lost touch with, especially those who once brought out the best in you. Other times it means stepping into new spaces where genuine people gather. That could look like joining a local church, a volunteer group, a book club, or even a dance class. It could be getting involved with creative communities, support groups, or organizations that share your values.

The goal is not to chase people, but to put yourself in places where kindness, creativity, and encouragement naturally live. In those spaces, healthy connections can grow, and over time you will find the ones who genuinely value you.

Because we are not meant to do life alone. Real connection is mutual, steady, and life-giving. With intention, you can create a community that reflects the love and respect you deserve.